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Quotes about Humor


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“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

“I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I dont want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. Thats why Im constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.”

“If youre horrible to me, Im going to write a song about it, and you wont like it. Thats how I operate.”

“I told her Id wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else whod give me a ride home.”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.
”

“There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)”

“I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I dont want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. Thats why Im constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.”

“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. Shes ninety-seven now, and we dont know where the heck she is.”

“The capacity for friendship is Gods way of apologizing for our families.”

“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

“Say provoking again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.”

“You here to finish me off, Sweetheart?”

“Just because youre beautiful and perfect, its made you conceited.”

“Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.”

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”

“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh.”

“It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.”

“Im tough, Im ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.”

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”